Step-by-Step Guide to Clearing Your Karma
Clearing Your Karma
A Grounded, Human, No-Nonsense Guide
Because growth shouldn’t require incense, bypassing, or a personality transplant
Karma is not mystical bookkeeping.
It’s cause and effect with a nervous system.
What you avoid repeats.
What you distort multiplies.
What you repair releases.
This guide works because it addresses the actual mechanisms that create recurring patterns in everyday life:
your nervous system under stress
your internal dialogue
your behaviour when uncomfortable
your ability to repair instead of disappear
This is a 30-day recalibration, not a dramatic emotional detox.
We’re aiming for clean, not impressive.
STEP 1 — Audit Your Regard
Awareness opens the door. Nothing moves before this.
Regard is the amount of dignity, fairness, and generosity you extend to others—especially when you feel threatened, inconvenienced, or emotionally activated.
Most people believe they’re fair.
Their behaviour under stress tells the truth.
Ask yourself (in writing—thinking isn’t enough)
Who do I resent?
Who do I judge quickly?
Who triggers defensiveness or contempt in me?
Who do I treat with less fairness than I expect in return?
Where do I become cold, sarcastic, superior, or emotionally unavailable?
Why this works
Resentment is rarely about the other person alone. It usually signals:
a boundary you didn’t hold
a truth you swallowed
a need you minimized
pain you postponed processing
Your body recorded it even if your mouth stayed polite.
Example
You snap at a coworker for a small mistake. The mistake isn’t the issue. The issue is that you’ve been over-functioning, not asking for support, and silently resenting them for weeks.
Workbook prompt
“When I think of ________, my body reacts by ________.”
Choose one person or pattern, not your entire history. That’s your entry point.
STEP 2 — Repair Your Posture Toward Yourself
You cannot extend clean regard outward while collapsing inward.
Posture isn’t just physical.
It’s how you stand inside yourself.
When you abandon yourself, you unconsciously demand compensation from others—through control, withdrawal, resentment, or martyrdom.
Begin here:
Identify one boundary you’ve been avoiding (saying no, asking for clarity, stopping over-giving).
Reinforce it calmly and consistently.
Over-functioning is not generosity. It is self-abandonment wearing a halo.
Why this works
People who feel unsafe internally try to regulate externally through:
people-pleasing
micromanaging
defensiveness
emotional shutdown
That creates relational karma quickly.
Example
You keep saying yes to plans you resent. Then you show up irritated or distant. The “karma” isn’t bad luck—it’s misalignment.
Truth bomb
Self-respect isn’t arrogance.
It’s containment.
Practice statement (daily for 7 days):
“I can take responsibility without attacking myself.”
STEP 3 — Close the Open Tabs
Unfinished business leaks energy.
Your nervous system hates unresolved situations. It keeps scanning, replaying, bracing—long after the moment passed.
List your open tabs:
someone you hurt
someone you owe clarity
someone you still blame
someone you ghosted
something you promised but didn’t complete
You do not fix everything.
You choose one.
Why this works
Closure doesn’t require agreement.
It requires honesty.
An open tab is attention theft.
Example
You keep replaying a conversation from six months ago. The energy drain isn’t the memory—it’s the avoided truth you never named.
Workbook action
Choose one tab and define one next step:
draft a message (you don’t have to send it yet)
plan a conversation
privately name the truth
create a repayment or boundary
Small closures create disproportionate peace.
STEP 4 — Clean Your Intentions
Motive determines outcome.
Before speaking or acting, pause and ask:
Am I trying to understand or win?
Connect or control?
Speak truth or punish?
Repair—or prove I’m right?
Why this works
Intent shapes tone, timing, and energy.
A clean sentence spoken with dirty intent still lands dirty.
Example
You tell someone “the truth,” but your body is tight and angry. They hear blame, not clarity—even if your words are reasonable.
Reality check
If you want to win, your truth becomes a weapon.
If you want to connect, your truth becomes a bridge.
Set your intention explicitly
“My intention is clarity and respect—not control.”
STEP 5 — Repair What Needs Repairing
No performance. No groveling. Just truth.
Repair restores dignity—not approval.
Use grounded language:
“I handled that poorly.”
“I’ve been reflecting on what happened.”
“Here’s what I missed.”
“Here’s why I pulled away.”
“Thank you for your patience then.”
The 3-Part Repair Formula
Ownership — no excuses
Impact — how it may have landed
Correction — what’s different now
Example
“I shut down instead of saying I was overwhelmed. That likely felt dismissive. I’m working on naming my limits sooner.”
Why this works
Repair teaches your nervous system that honesty is survivable—and often relieving.
Repair is not chasing forgiveness.
It’s cleaning your side.
STEP 6 — Let the Rest Go
Integrity is the closure.
Once your part is clean:
release their reaction
release the story
release the need to be understood
Why this works
Managing their response becomes the new karmic mess.
Say it plainly
“I did my part. I release the rest.”
Some people won’t meet you where you cleaned.
That doesn’t undo the work.
STEP 7 — Upgrade Your Everyday Regard (30-Day Practice)
Karma is built through habit, not intention.
For 30 days:
assume good intent unless proven otherwise
slow your responses—especially in text
treat people with dignity when stressed
perform one conscious act of kindness daily
practice clean exits (clarity over disappearance)
Example
Instead of ghosting, you say:
“I need to step back right now. I wanted to be clear.”
Why this works
Your life reflects what you practice, not what you hope.
Choose one regard rule
“No sharpness when I’m stressed.”
STEP 8 — Keep Your Side of the Street Clean
Consistency beats perfection.
You will slip. That’s not failure—it’s being human.
When you do:
acknowledge it
repair it
move forward without self-punishment
Important distinction
Responsibility = growth
Self-punishment = stagnation dressed as morality
Reset script
“I correct quickly and continue cleanly.
STEP 9 — Choose a Future You’re Proud to Receive
Your actions are seeds.
Ask yourself regularly:
“If this version of me multiplied, would I like the world it creates?”
“What would Future-Me thank me for?”
“What’s the next right step—not the loudest one?”
Why this works
Identity follows action.
Action compounds.
If yes—continue.
If no—adjust.
The universe is remarkably forgiving when alignment is sincere.
30-Day Rhythm (Simple and Realistic)
Week 1: Audit + self-posture
Week 2: Close one open tab
Week 3: Intention + repair
Week 4: Release + habit upgrade
Daily: Future-self check
Written by Shanda L. Kaus, RN, BScN
December 2025